Retirement is often looked forward to in glowing terms. People plan to make sure that their home is paid for, that their debts are erased, and that they have enough money in the bank to pay living expenses and enjoy life. Especially here in Florida, retirement may come with dreams of lazy days on the golf course or long walks on the beach. Seniors may expect their retirement years to be full of travel, their favorite pastime, or even a new hobby. But the reality is that many seniors, no matter how prepared they may be financially, are not necessarily prepared emotionally for the free time and freedom that comes from hanging up their work clothes. Sadly, that freedom sometimes causes seniors to overspend their hard-earned (and diligently saved) cash.
Overspending can result from hidden problems and issues that you are not aware of. Adults need to maintain a strong line of communication between them and their parents to have a clearer picture of what may be causing the potentially destructive behavior. Here are a few essential tips on approaching your loved ones if they begin to overspend.
Evaluating Their Need to Overspend
First, it is vital to establish that your parents have the right to spend their own money. They have worked hard their entire lives, often sacrificing their own desires to care for the family. Spending money on lavish vacations or a fancy night out can be well-deserved and nothing to worry about. Unless you have a complete picture of your parent’s finances, medical needs, and living expenses, you don’t want to cause any drama by challenging their spending habits. But some unique characteristics of growing older can spark overspending, so it is essential to understand and recognize the potential signs of trouble.
A sudden abundance of free time can play with a person’s mindset, and they can feel overwhelmingly bored or lonely without their daily routine and work colleagues. Seniors may be looking for ways to connect, participate in society and feel relevant – and whether or not we like to admit it, spending money, shopping, and splurging on ourselves fill all those voids, at least temporarily. If you are concerned about a parent’s sudden uptick in spending, it is prudent to look into the reasons behind the behavior.
Talking with Parents About Spending – 3 Tips
1. Find out as much as you can before starting the financial spending conversation. A few decadent expenditures do not necessarily translate to financial ruin. It might signify that they are easing into a new way of life – or celebrating it. However, there may be health reasons behind your parent’s impulsive spending. Dementia afflicts many seniors over the age of 65, attacking the brain’s frontal lobe and causing reckless behavior. This condition can cause your loved one to act without thinking about the consequences – which is dangerous in many situations, not just overspending. This may be especially difficult to ascertain as the early stages of dementia do not appear serious, so you may not associate the two at first. Regular medical and cognitive checkups at this age are an excellent way to educate yourself about any possible medical reasons behind their behavior changes.
2. Keep your head and strive to understand your Mom or Dad’s spending sprees. These decadent shopping trips may be unsettling to you, especially if you have always known your parent to be frugal and tight-fisted. Keep in mind as well that what may seem lavish to you may be the fulfillment of a life-long (and planned for) dream for them. Do not get angry, fearful, or overly anxious if they buy a big-ticket item. Again, it is their money. If they are cognitively able to make decisions, it is their decision to make. However, if you have genuine concerns about their ability to meet living expenses, or if you suspect that cognitive decline is involved in their spending, you may wish to investigate further.
3. Stay aware of your parent’s emotional state as they move into this new phase of life. If they overspend because of boredom or loneliness and you live nearby, make alternative suggestions such as coming to your house for dinner twice a week or going to the movies occasionally. Encourage them to join a new club, become more active at their church, or volunteer at a local organization. These activities can reconnect your loved one with society, give them a sense of belonging and reduce the need to “interact” via their wallet. Plus, many charitable organizations rely on seniors for help, and it is a beautiful opportunity for them to do something they love while participating and bringing value to society.
Remember: If your parent’s overspending compromises their financial security in the future, you may need to step in. Staying in contact with their physician and health care workers can help you to determine if they are losing the ability to care for themselves properly.
A Banyan Residence is a memory care and assisted living facility based in Venice, Florida.
